I’m actually a judge on Rachael Harrie’s first campaign challenge and so it seems only fair to post something of my own (which I assume others will judge!) before I start looking at other posts. So with some (actually great) trepidation I’m posting my own 200 words beginning ‘The door swung open’. Yes, it invites horror, don’t you think, or at the very least suspense?
Well I rarely do flash fiction, and I never do horror, and so I’ve gone for something more domestic, (or should I say domesticated ?) Anyway, here it is. I’m running for cover.
The Fridge that Talked
The door swung open then closed again as Laura jammed her foot against it.
Bloody fridge, bloody door, it had been doing this for weeks. Only yesterday she’d got up to find the milk tepid and the bacon streaked with green. The whole lot had to go in the bin.
Today she sniffed the (new) carton of milk and switched on the kettle, but before she’d made the tea the door was doing its usual trick, daring her to give it another kick. She sat down on the floor, her back against the pesky door. Who did she know who fixed fridges?
From down here things looked even worse. The lino was torn, the neon tube spattered with insects that had crawled inside to die. She should make more effort, ring the landlord, buy a new light, for God’s sake.
As she got up, the fridge made another plea for attention. She gave it a long hard look. The landlord never answered his phone. Fixing things wasn’t her scene. There was a world out there, better than this.
The following day she packed and left.
In the flat, the door of the fridge swung closed of its own accord.
199 words
Perhaps I should have said, if anyone would like to record their appreciation of this attempt, you can do so via links at the end of the challenge post.
This was a refreshing redirection from all the rather startling and drastic entries I’ve been reading. A nice breath of air. Cool relief.
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Haven’t seen the other entries but I loved this for it’s simplicity and it’s unexpected ending.
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Jaye and Anne
Thanks so much for having a look – I can see it does rather buck a trend, but looking at some of the others I also wish I had spent a bit more time on the writing.
Best wishes
AliB
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Indeed, so many entries have been dark and/or sad I love this upbeat one with a unique slant!
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Yuck. Not my find of fridge. I love the way your character perceived the appliance. Awesome voice. Great work! Best of luck judging! 🙂
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*kind* (typos, right?)
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Oh, Ali, glad my fridge isn’t so mean. ; )
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I liked all the connotations of the fridge door not shutting properly, and the sometimes insular view we have of the world – there’s a great big world out there to be discovered. At least, that’s what I took from this story.
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I had read a very intense, startling entry before this one. This was a more pleasant, healing entry to read.
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Hi all
Thanks for your feedback.
Allie, I agree it’s rather a limited outlook.
Mytrickstergod, I’m afraid I just wasn’t in the mood for intense!
Zan Marie – actually, I saw the fridge as being in Laur’as best interest – or maybe just nudging her to do what she already knew was best!
AliB
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I’m another who loves it for its simplicity – and uniqueness. Terrific description, too.
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Ooo, sounds like a haunted fridge if you ask me:) And quite and empowering moment for the young lady. Well done!
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This entry IS a refreshing change, AliB! Nicely done.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I appreciate the time you took away from your own work to judge. I’m enjoying my first campaign. LOVE meeting new people and seeing such different, unique styles of writing. Thanks again, AliB!
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Hi Tara – just read your story and liked it very much – hope it goes further!
Dora – hi again, yes, such a huge variety of responses, even if there were quite a few portals and prison cells!
Deana – thanks for visiting – I guess that fridge is what you want to make it!
AliB
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Love the ending in this one.
Would like to invite you to The Rule of Three Blogfest —a month-long shared-world fiction extravaganza in October with some great prizes, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing.
Hope to see you and your characters in the town of Renaissance!
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H damyanti
Your blogfest sounds like a blast. Will mull it over before joining as I intend to devote this autumn to a new WIP. (Of course the Rule of three might actually help!)
Thanks for the invite.
AliB
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Good luck in the first challenge. I’m still working on mine. 🙂
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Ali – what I love about this is the way you have used something as simple as a fridge door that won’t close as a catalyst for the MC to realize there is more in life for her and motivates her to move forward. Nicely done!
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Fabulously original. Vivid description put me right in the scene. And I love that the refrigerator kicked her out of the flat. Well done!
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Thanks Shelley and Angelina. I am truly impressed by both of your flashes too.
Good luck with the #campaign
AliB
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Very nice – really like it.
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Thanks Alica – wondering how to find out who got picked for next round. Presumably not me!
AliB
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